“I have lupus, but lupus doesn’t have me”
For the past few years, I’ve been approached by friends and strangers who merely look at me and say “aww I’m sorry that you have Lupus” or “poor you” or anything along the lines of feeling sorry for me and my diagnosis. Many of these people know the facts, that lupus is a systemic auto-immune disease that can manifest in any shape or form, ranging from a small infection to heart and kidney failure. They think about all the limitations and obstacles that us lupies (lupus patients) have to overcome on a daily basis. As much as I appreciate their sympathy and concern, I choose not to see my lupus through their eyes as a burden; instead I see it as motivation to get up and fight every day and appreciate all that life has to offer.
Being diagnosed with Systemic Lupus at age 12 was one of the biggest moments of my live. The life I once knew no longer existed and everything began to change. In all honesty, I’ll say that the first few years of adjusting to the pain, the flares, infections, the hospitalizations, etc., was a difficult time for me. But truth be told, as I got older, I realized how blessed I was to be diagnosed in the first place. A lot of people might not believe me when I say this but my diagnosis of lupus has given me more than it has taken away from me.
My Lupus taught me foremost how to be resilient: to never back down, to never give up, despite the limitations and obstacles that surrounded me. My Lupus taught me to be tough, strong, and competitive towards every task at hand, enabling me to give life 110%. My Lupus taught me that despite what others think, I will choose my own way without the influence of their words and hesitations. My Lupus enabled me to get into a wonderful school like UC Berkeley, and empowered me to have hope, to succeed and to keep moving forward. My lupus taught me the importance of family, friends and support; for without it, life would be a little less sweet. My Lupus taught me to start taking care of myself early as a young-in. I learned to focus on an adequate diet, exercise routine. I realized the importance of staying positive and happy. The lessons I am learning are not only for that of myself, but for all of those around me. Lastly, my lupus guided me to where I am today, which is here in medical school, pursuing my lifelong passion and dream. Because of my lupus I can confidently look into a patient’s eyes and to be able to empathize with them; a priceless connection a lot of physicians yearn for with their patients.
Through all the bad, and all the good, I’ve always been able to keep my head up and try to stay positive, and because of it I grow stronger, smarter, and more resilient by the day. I have accomplished so much and I hope to accomplish grander and greater things. I hope to one day, as a future physician, to be able to help all my patients overcome their limitations, their pains, and their worries. I hope I can use all that I have lost and gained from my life with lupus to help them achieve the best of their health and wellness. I’ll end with a message directed to all readers whom suffer from a disability or hardship. A message I carry with myself each and every day, that “When something bad happens, you have three choices. You can let it define you, let it destroy you, or you can let it strengthen you”.